Day 49.

She was having feelings that she hadn't had for a while. Her heart beat that little bit faster. Her mind was wild with ideas. She felt alive again.

*

Don't dye your hair red if you like your bedding to stay the colour you bought it. I woke up this morning and have seen my pillow. Good God. Originally it was brown. Not any more. It's horrific but so worth it. Last night I had a few random people come over and say how much they love my hair. This makes me love it even more. People seem so much more friendly in Kingston than anyone in Eastbourne on a night out. If someone bumps in to you they say sorry or they chat to you like an old friend. Eastbourne is a whole different kettle of fish.

I have had the best weekend. I am hungover, unbelievably. It is awful. I have work in an hour or so and I, hand on heart, don't actually know how I am going to manage it. The thought of 1) driving around and 2) being really friendly when all I want to do is stay in bed, eat and sleep, is tough. Why did I agree to do these extra shifts on my weekend off? I am a fool and should stop agreeing to stuff without thinking it through properly. Either that, or stop going out. Probably the latter is the best solution but I like going out. Too much lately. 

I've seen a real change in myself over the last couple of weeks. I feel more confident in myself. More self assured. Happier to try new things and live my life how I want it. I have been introduced to some really amazing people too. I would never have met them if I hadn't taken this path. I am so happy with my decision. It truly has been the best thing I have done in a while. It's the best decision I have gone through with. I know for a fact that some people aren't happy with how I've changed but what they don't realise is that everyone has to change. Perhaps some of the ways I am changing is not the best in the eyes of others. Right now, it is getting me through and that's all that matters. 

Hannah xox