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After last nights mini 'breakdown' I am back on form. Around half an hour after posting that piece I was watching rom coms, chatting to good friends and laughing hard. It was as though it had never even happened. In a nice way of course. Things come and go and it's how we learn from them. I have learned that being this tired and having to go to work should be made illegal. It was another of my sleepless nights.
As I lay in bed last night I promised not to make this a problem and for it to be a positive experience, entirely. Being a slushy is a hard life really. I cry at the donkey rescue adverts on tv, I get all worried if I squash a bug and feel compelled to give it a burial, (not spiders though. They're someone elses job. My role is to just scream.) I also enjoy rom coms and have this ridiculous idea that there is such a thing as true love.
I spoke to someone last night who made me laugh so much my family were concerned as to what I was doing. We came up with a plan that would more than likely make me a very successful writer. Well, that wasn't the first aim of it but if there's money to be made...
Due to me and this person not knowing each other very well, he suggested we play a game of sorts. Not in the creepy 'Saw' kind of way, although if he was sat on a little tricycle I think that would have made it even more appealing. The idea is we think of 3 things we have never done and pick one at random and do it. The aim is to get to know each other more by doing things we've never done but wanted to. So far we have decided on having a BBQ in the snow whilst setting fire to gloves, visiting the Natural History Museum as grown ups and going to Portugal. The Portugal one was my brain wave of course. It's definitely happening. Even if it's a case of flying there, getting off the plane and heading straight back home on another one. This is how stories are made. How life experiences are created. How amazing memories are formed. The smile, that I had briefly come to lose, has been fully restored yet again. I had another whiff of happiness. I am excited although now I have to come up with some more ideas and I am at a loss completely. I am sure I will have my usual epiphany and will be overwhelmed with ideas.
The main lesson we should learn from all of this is that sometimes we get slapped round the face and life tries to throw us off course but ultimately fuck it, it's going to get better. In my case, my situation turned around in 30 minutes. Before, that would have affected me all through the night, resulting in puffy, red eyes and feeling bunged up and ill this morning. However, despite being absolutely shattered, I am as happy as Larry. (I can't believe how much it's all changed. How much I've changed. After a decade of suffering, I think I've beaten it.)
This weekends lessons have included:
- Always be happy for someone even if it is breaking your heart in some way.
- Always be friendly.
- Always accept opportunities even if they make you scared.
- Don't think the world is over just because your whiffs have run out for now.
- Remember you are amazing as you are and don't need the validation of someone else in your life.
- There is no harm in believing in true love.
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