Day 86.1.

Uh oh she's off again.

*

As I was driving in between my calls today a song came on my iPod. 'Talk dirty'-Jason Derulo. I start listening to it; listening to the lyrics not just enjoying it's disgracefully arousing tune that I thoroughly enjoy slut dropping to. That's right, us fat girls slut drop too. This particular lyric, that made me giggle and feel somewhat sick at the same time, is performed by 2 Chainz.

"Her pussy so good I bought her a pet.
Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it
Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty"

I'm sure we can all agree he's a right old charmer. The type of guy all us girls dream of as we are growing up.

Now, despite my love of this song, I really couldn't get my head around how it is acceptable for him to make remarks like that, when it is very rare, in the main charts anyway, for women to be referring to men in similar ways. What is it that gives men the green light to refer to women like that? Are we not breeding an even more moronic male following who will think that it's okay? I understand the funny side to referring to a woman as 'my bitch', that's hilarious, truly. (If you haven't noticed the sarcastic tone, re-read it as I am not editing it again.) Yet how many songs are in the charts now with women commenting on similar things?

I gave it some thought and decided I think I would do a grand job. I should be on some 50 cent track talking about men in the same way women are spoken about. Or, I just sell my lyrics on. Can you imagine Katy Perry breaking in to a rap discussing the size of a fella's todger? I think not. On reflection it wouldn't be acceptable for a woman to sing: 'Got laid last night, was pretty shit, his cock was tiny but I told him it didn't matter. He has a really hairy arse too.' That would be brilliant. Yet, we could go the other way, more positive, and just reflect on a like for like basis. For example, 'I'd quite like him to stick it in me. Heard he's a good shag. Not tossing him off though, I don't want to get cramp.' Personally, that's my favourite.

The lyric of  'Her pussy so good I bought her a pet' is truly phenomenal. Ignoring the poor English let's break this one down and see how nice it sounds after you've seen it from my perspective. Okay, so, 'her pussy so good.' Well good for it! Gold star. The area you have provided has been satisfactory. He has clearly enjoyed himself and will no doubt return for seconds. Fabulous. I think the term 'pussy' is an issue for me here as well. I am not overly keen. To me, a pussy is a cat. A cat is furry. Thus I imagine a carpet of fur erupting from the sides of the underwear and which also purrs when stroked. I like 2 Chainz though, he's thoughtful. Her vagina was so great he actually bought her a pet as a thank you. Some girls like flowers, his woman clearly likes animals. What would he have got her though? Can't of been a cat; she already has a pussy.

Next on my lyrical war path is: 'Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty. This one won't take me long to review. It's great that she has a nickname. Not so great that she is only being remembered for one of her attributes. Who knew she also has a law degree and helps down at a homeless shelter?! Of course, they are not things we should be noticed for. It is all to do with the size of our tits and arse that makes the biggest impression. I am royally fucked. I have neither. My dreams of being in a rap video/song have been dashed. Ultimately, 'big booty' is basically calling her 'fat arse' and if I found out that some man had me saved as that I wouldn't be impressed. Needless to say his name would change to 'pencil dick' or something to that effect. 

As a whole it seems that women are spoken about as though they are predominantly sexual objects which I find pretty disgusting. Not only do we have a lot more going for us than just supplying holes for your pleasure, we are also sentient beings. I reckon whatever the boys can do, we can match it. It's not a case of being better than one another, it's simply a matter of equality. There would be uproar if we commented on disabled people or concentrated on race; yet it's okay to talk about women's arses and tits like there's no tomorrow. 

I say it's about time I lived the dream and was gyrating on some expensive car in just my underwear. Of course, no one would enjoy it but it's the principle of it. The women shown in music videos have the 'ideal' body and wear no clothes. Miley Cyrus for example. Wrecking Ball has been epic. Very cleverly done indeed. Right, you get naked on this ball and then imitate a blow job for me and we will call it 'art' so no one gets too pissed off or offended by you selling yourself short in order to sell your song. Just saying. Respect to the girl though, I mean, she has a great figure, she's an attractive girl but it would be nice to see a few more videos with women wearing clothes. Normal sized women being the girl he chooses in a club. You know, the usual stuff. Doesn't build the mens hopes up too much when they realise that we, as women, don't all actually look like that.

Rant over. I am now off to wash my car in a bikini with some dutty slut drop music whilst sucking on a lollipop.

Hannah xox