Day 213.

There are no words to describe how disappointed I am in you sometimes. I really thought you were someone to look up to and be inspired by. You, however, are not this person. Don't get me wrong I knew this a long time ago but now and again I have these realisations that you aren't all you make out to be. It's the drugs that get to me really. As a non-user I don't get it. I have never, other than smoked some weed, taken any form of drug for recreational purposes, and never will as far as I'm concerned. You're surrounded by idiots who do lines of coke because they can't enjoy themselves or relax without it. You think MDMA with your friends is something you can do now and again. Between you all...you're muppets. I left that group of people for more than one reason and I left you for more than one reason. Either way, I'm sad that this is who you are. After all the times you got upset, said you wanted to do well and be a better person. It just goes to show how far away from that you really are.

I'm sorry I'm not the 'cool' girl who was happy to watch you take that shit. I never will be. I'm happy with a countryside walk, drinks with the girls. I don't need drugs to make me fit in. I don't need to pretend to be this life and soul kind of person. I know the real you. I've seen the real you. Watch all these 'good friends' around you who are only there for the short ride. I'd like to see them put up with the shit that I have.