Day 37.

Her eyes couldn't lie. The disappointment was far too apparent. Everything had changed right before her eyes and there was nothing that could be done about it. It had all taken a U-turn but she wasn't disheartened. If it was meant to be, it would be.

*

The beginning of my week has been somewhat awful. Monday came with the horrific flu like symptoms I hadn't expected to feel in August. Headache, backache, hot flushes, a chill, sore throat. It had all come about so quickly. It all disappeared quickly too. Today I feel fine, albeit quite tired. I felt as though my freak illness was a dream, it didn't even feel as though it had happened, but at the time it definitely made it's presence known. 

At 1 am today I rolled over in bed to find my phone charger cover had fallen off. As I rummaged to retrieve it from under my side I had the misfortune of moving my other hand over to the wall, thus electrocuting myself on the bare wiring inside. That certainly woke me up. The dead, heaviness of my right arm, coupled with shooting pins and needles most definitely didn't make me feel good at all. My heart fluttered and I began to panic that I would have a panic attack. As you are aware panicking about a panic attack is probably the most daft thing you can do, but I was lucky. I can only hope that the days get better from here on.

Any negativity seems to have disappeared. It has been quite refreshing. It's funny to see how 'friends' react to gossip though. You can definitely tell who are the ones who want information to feed back to their sources and there are others who say nothing about it but hope that you are okay. They are the friends I need around me. The ones who'll say 'hear you're having a bit of trouble. Hope you're okay. Fancy meeting up soon? not the ones who try the 'how are you? People are saying this and this and this. It looks bad on you, so what's going on?' Bore off. Stop trying to dig for information. I will not be giving it to you whatsoever. It's even better when these so called friends don't bother speaking to you in ages then suddenly pipe up. 

I am in serious need of zoning out certain groups of 'friends'. The friends I only encounter negative situations with, the gossips, the liars. They really need to go and I am on my way to removing them. It all begins with a Facebook clear out or at least a 'hide from timeline' rampage. It's bizarre how people can become so pissed off if you delete them on a social media site despite you never having anything to do with them. Oh no, that one less friend will make you look really unpopular. Quick you better go and play Candy Crush to redeem yourself...

Hannah xox