Day 38.

The fresh air smelt amazing. The sun caressing her skin as she watched the world go by. Her thoughts taking her further than she had dared to dream. She was going to make it. She knew it.

*

This afternoon I received an interesting message. Well, interesting may be a little strong but entertaining to say the least. It came from a young man, who I do not know, trying to spark a conversation with a newly awoken me. Not off to a great start already. I am not really someone who enjoys random men adding me on Facebook if I have never met them, purely because it's down right weird. The fact he also confessed to being a 'stalker' didn't fill me with much enthusiasm. The conversation, of which I wasn't enjoying anyway, unfolded fairly quickly. He saw me in a nightclub, found me on their page, said he liked me and it is still going. 

Not only have I repeatedly told this person that I am not interested, not looking for anyone or anything and do not want to be romantically involved with anyone for a very long time, he is becoming increasingly annoying. I could end the conversation and I will be blocking him very soon but, for the purposes of this blog, it is necessary to get as much from it as possible. So, remembering my adamant refusal he wants me to give him a chance. Now, I'm all up for giving people chances. The chance to prove they have changed, the chance to improve, the chance to buy me shoes...(size 8). Yet, when I say I'm not interested, take the hint. My response was simply 'I don't want anyone though.' To which he promptly responded with 'you got nothing to lose'. Hmm, let me tell you what I have to lose shall I dear? 'I would lose my freedom and my single status of which I am not willing to give up.' That should have been a done deal...

Is there a reason certain people are so keen? Who ever said that, 'act like a stalker and bug the girl 'til she says yes' actually works? Does it work for you? I'd rather have a guy, who hasn't found me on a nightclub Facebook page, to make more of an effort as opposed to sending me a message and then slapping me round the face with the settling down routine. 

The other point here that has worried me is the unusual belief that being single is a bad thing? Like it's some negative stigma we all try and get away from so we feel more accepted in to society. Since becoming single I am enjoying it. Sure, after years of being alone I guess it'd be nice to have someone around but realistically I know, it isn't the end of the world and it needn't be either. The pros and cons of being single or in a relationship are pretty much level, for me at least. Now I am single I can concentrate on myself, focus all my attentions on my family, friends and anything else that is of real importance in my life. (Not that it should be changed when you become partnered up but we all know the trials of balancing everything equally.) I am now at a stage in my life where I am ready to develop myself in to a blossoming twenty something year old. I am ready to grab life and all it's opportunities. I am ready to become who I am meant to be. 

I don't, however, need some random man telling me that he is worth being with and I am missing a chance not being with him. Firstly, I don't like anyone telling me my own mind. I am free to think what I want and no one is going to squash my thoughts and tell me what should be in my head. Secondly, I don't like being told I am missing chances. I surely am the one who decides which chances I do and don't take and that is my problem, not theirs. Thirdly, I can't quite comprehend how you can claim to 'like', let alone love someone, when you have never met them or spoken to them. Yeah, initial attraction- fine but that is not the same and most certainly not a reason to add me and try and befriend me. Talk to me people...so much more respect for you if you can do that in person!

Hannah xox