Day 73.1

Her feelings were strong but she was afraid. She was afraid of admitting them, even to herself. She had lost the love she once felt for him but she didn't want it to materialise. They had been together so long. The life they had built together. It all meant nothing now. His lies had destroyed that but she kept her brave face on. Her game face.The only face she could produce when performing the feelings that once came so naturally to her. He must realise. He must know. How could she go on pretending when her heart had been ignited by another man?

Once upon a time everything had been wonderful. They had made plans for the future, spoke about marriage, even having children. They had been together since they were 16. Sweethearts from school. Inseparable. He was her first. They were drunk. 17 years old. Sore. He was the man that turned her in to a woman. They made memories. Photos. Videos. Family had entwined with one another. It was all destined to be perfect until she found it. He had become distant. Unfeeling. He hadn't touched her for months. Something wasn't right. She found the message. The message to her. That scheming bitch who had pretended to be her friend for so long. The bitch that had caused a massive gap between them both. Maybe it was partly his fault. Maybe he felt he needed to try something new. Why did he say he loved her? Months went by before she admitted to knowing what he was up to. He grovelled. Made excuses. Promised it would never happen again. She forgave him. She wasn't ready to lose the only person who had ever made her feel love. Yet, it was gone. Any love she had for him had turned to bitterness. She thought this was how it was meant to be. So she stayed.


Could she do it? Could she keep up the facade of being happy for the sake of memories? It wasn't fair. She had been pushed to her limits. She had faced situations she had never wanted to. She had put up with his false words and uninterested attitude for too long. It was the cliche of loving him but not being in love with him. She missed how it was in the beginning. The fun times. The happy times. The times where they just worked. Everything felt in place at the start but it crumbled away with time once the first lie was told.

He made her feel alive. He understood her. The passion they felt towards one another was electric. The way her heart beat as he held her close to his body. The way he grabbed her as they kissed. The chemistry was too much. She became addicted to his touch. His strong hands holding her waist as he pushed her against the wall. The way he stroked her neck. Kissed her. She wanted him. She needed him. Needed him close. Close enough to take her breath away. Close enough to forget the world around them. She hadn't felt this before. It was naughty. It was wrong. Or was it? Was it wrong for her to feel wanted, desired, loved? He was everything she needed. Everything he wasn't.

She looked in the mirror. Just staring. Looking at her long, blond hair. The way it fell below her shoulders. The freckles dancing across her cheeks. The pale skin she had loathed for so many years. Her blue eyes filled with tears. Could she do it? Could she say the words to him that she had dreaded for so long? Her phone rang, the twinkling notes danced across the tense air. She looked at it. Managing to drag her attention away from the wreck she was staring at in the mirror. It was him. She held the phone to her ear, heart pounding, hands trembling and with almost a whisper, answered.

His voice. The voice that used to utter sweet nothings sounded bitter, cold, harsh. He wasn't the same. He knew. He knew what she had done and it was too late to even attempt to lie. His voice wavered as he asked her why. Why could she do this to him? The silence became unbearable. The pause felt like it would never stop. Her voice cracked as she struggled to find the right words to console the man she thought she loved. "Revenge. Bittersweet revenge."

The phone line went dead.