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As I tend to do, far too often perhaps, I had a conversation with a friend regarding sex. Shock, horror, I know. It was to the point and short lived. A similarity already shared with the actual act.
We were discussing why women, it seems, are so afraid to speak about sex, in any form. He referred to it as the 'slag complex'. The moment a girl chooses she wants a no strings attached relationship with a guy yet bails out before anything happens in case she gets a reputation or is referred to as a slag. Ladies, let me have your attention for just one moment... Having sex does not make you a slag.
It appears that men and women have different sets of rules they must play by when it comes to sex. Men are celebrated for getting their leg over whereas women are shamed and called every abusive name under the sun. She is judged and typically, the only men who will look at her, until her reputation diminishes, are those who just want a shag. She will struggle to find a decent man because 9 times out of 10, they won't like the fact that she has probably had more shags than he has. I find this just a little bit unfair. If you enjoy sex, go and have it. If you can that is, I wouldn't recommend sleeping with just anybody or you'll end up feeling pretty crap. Try and find someone you are remotely attracted to. It does help the whole situation out. I have come to realise that I would rather people referred to me as a slag, because I enjoy sex and admit to having it, than being boxed in the same confines as these other women who point blank refuse to 'fess up! I will happily follow my natural urges because that's what they are...'natural.' Having sex is a natural thing to do. It's pretty much the only reason we are here so why not bloody enjoy it?
However, as I briefly mentioned earlier, we ladies must be a little careful. I would not recommend sleeping with anyone willy nilly. If you are merely having sex with randomers to fill a void (as it were) then I would suggest taking up some form of aggressive sport as an alternative. Vent your frustration elsewhere rather than desperately finding any one you can to satisfy your longing to be loved. They don't love you. Sorry.
As women we tend to 'feel' things when we have sex. Usually if you can feel it happening, it helps or you'll end up just being rocked to sleep but when we have a physical encounter of this kind we start to allow emotions get the better of us. Why Mother Nature were you such an evil bitch? As if periods weren't bad enough, we now, unlike most men who are just out for a shag, have to feel something for these pieces of meat? Ugh. You are mean. Damn you hormones. Damn you vagina related issues. Damn it all. There may be some of us who are able to avoid the unnecessary 'give a shit-maybe he likes me-could this go further' crap that we drown in when we become close to people. This is a big reason why we can't just shag around. It's a shame really because if we can over come our feelings and focus solely on our needs we may begin to level out this playing field once and for all. If the arrangement is purely sex. Stick to it. I have had my experiences where I have only gone out for one thing and it has, for me, worked out nicely. I am not afraid, in any sense, to admit that I like sex, I enjoy sex and I want sex.
It's all such a taboo. Men have this ridiculously large outlet for their sexual desires. They get the majority of space on porn sites, they have shelves of half naked women in magazines, they have strip clubs. Now, I know that isn't to say us ladies can't indulge in those things either however, where is the niche sexual market for women? And, sorry, but I don't want 'female friendly' porn, I want porn. I want regular, as it comes, porn. It would be nice to, perhaps, educate some of the younger men of today who may be embarking on their first sexual experience, that not all women are going to pant, they aren't going to scream and holler like there's no tomorrow and they won't be pulling half of the extreme 'I am really enjoying it' faces. I have been known to bite my lip a lot though. Maybe we could also teach the young men of today what foreplay is. Give them a heads up in school that they will have to work for it rather than assume the girl will be happy to just take it.
There is no shame in admitting you like sex or want it. There is no shame in saying you've slept with a few more people than is 'acceptable.' To be honest, it's just a number. As long as you aren't throwing STI's around like it's confetti then I think most people won't have a huge problem. Until we are all brave enough to embrace our sexual prowess we are not going to ever be able to overcome the stigma. You do realise that women masturbate too? As much as they may giggle and say they don't do it, I can almost bet you that they've got off using some random household appliance. This is the thing though, girls will giggle and be embarrassed about it whereas a woman should be proud and work it. So ladies, if you like sex and you know it, clap your hands because hello boys, you've got some work to do.
Hannah xox
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