Day 94.

He still played on her mind. She had managed to block most of it out now but it was still there. A nagging feeling. Still fairly raw. She was fine. She was happy. She knew it would go away.

*

Being a fairly traditional girl in all matters regarding dating/relationships, I did something quite unexpected. I signed up to a dating site. I know, very out of character. My main reasoning behind it was that I had met up with a friend the night before who was speaking about it and I felt intrigued. Would people be interested in me? Would I see anyone I liked myself? Was it really just a place for socially awkward people to find some comfort?

Apparently yes, people are interested in me. Granted a lot of it is unwanted attention. I've been asked if I want my feet licked far too many times. I have been pestered by one man, who has subsequently calmed a little, every hour asking if I wanted to meet up with him. Not even so much of a hello. Just a 'when we going for a drink babe?' The secret with that is 1) say hello, ask how I am, mention something you've read about me and 2) if I don't reply, don't keep messaging me. What is that all about? Has that actually ever worked for you in real life before? Seriously! It makes me laugh a little that someone can be that persistent when it is plain to see that the other is not interested in any shape or form, hence the constant ignoring of the messages. He stopped for a few days and has now returned to his irritating nature. I would block him but it's kind of funny.

I thought that signing up to this website would provide me good blogging material and yes, that has certainly worked. I can see now and watch unfold what methods these men use to get my attention. You get the usual, dull 'hi' messages which are usually deleted within a matter of minutes, after I have scrolled through the profile to see if it can be forgiven. 9/10 times it can't. The ones that have really caught my attention, even if after viewing their profiles I am not attracted to them, are the ones who ask me questions. They pick up on the fact I write a blog, they ask about the am dram, they appear to take an active interest. For these people, I reply. I spoke to a wonderful guy who, despite having no attraction to, made me laugh hysterically. We spoke about unicorns and the ideal rom-com moment in films. He takes the piss out of my memory considering I've asked him 20 times what he does for work. 

There have been some guys I have spoken to who I actually quite liked. I wasn't going to get my hopes up and think of this as some miracle cure for singledom. I like being single but I also like relationships. I was never keen on these sites. I never trusted the internet to provide me with anything other than decent porn and funny cat videos. Could I begin to accept the idea that I could find a man? I'm still unsure. I will, probably, meet up with someone off here. Out of intrigue again. I am intrigued to see which is better. My traditional views on dating whereby you meet someone in person and go from there or whether it is okay to scan through a profile, deciding instantly whether they could be good for you or not. I'm undecided. As an experiment I will meet one of these potential suitors and see what happens. If it isn't great that's definitely going to give me some writing inspiration that's for sure.

Hannah xox